Uncomfortable feelings and a poem to shift them

Wendy Cope's 'The Orange' as a balm for the soul...

Hello all, hope you are well and enjoying this surprisingly sunny UK weather? I’ve had a few new subscribers this week, so wanted to say a huge thank you to you all for hopping on board! Am looking forward to getting to know you.

I’ve also been hopping on boards recently (rolls eyes at terrible segue); this time at Watergate Bay in Cornwall, where I’ve been learning to longboard with the lovely gals at Gather & Glide surf school.

For those that don’t know, longboarding is a more mellow, dance-y, flow-y version of surfing. Learning to longboard is something that I’ve been looking forward to for a long time.

Patagonia’s video of environmental activist and longboarder, Belinda Baggs, does a good job of conveying the longboarder vibe.

Yet, in a rather confusing turn of events, longboarding wasn’t quite the mellow, peaceful experience that I hoped it would be. This had nothing to do with the weather, the people, or the surfing, but more to do with the waves of turbulent inner feelings swirling curiously within me. Since returning home, I’ve been pondering this; Why is it that learning new things, even when they are things that we want to do, end up being so bloody difficult and high-pressured? Why can’t we just enjoy them?

Being in the water, usually one of my happiest places, felt both joyful and discomforting. I got stuck in my head and went from being fully present to feeling numb, distracted, and like an outsider. My perceptions of my own competence and comparison with others impacted my sense of belonging. I also finally recognised that I’ve been contending with a subtle, but unacknowledged awareness of how I feel about aging, and it’s affect on my identity. In short, it’s a lot to unpick, and I want to take the time to do that in a longer form post which will hopefully be with you on Tuesday next week.

For this week’s post, I’ve decided to share Wendy Cope’s wise and beautiful poem The Orange instead. It’s a simple and profound poem that deserves to be shared and read by everyone (yes, I’m a big Wendy fan!).

The Orange first popped into my inbox as an attachment to a post written by a young colleague of mine who I admire deeply. She is courageous and humble, wise beyond her years and always remembers to see both the joy in the ordinary, and the success in her ‘failures’. Both Wendy Cope’s words, and my colleague’s way of being, came as a timely reminder to be kinder to myself and helped me bust through my post-surfing funk.

Here is The Orange in all it’s bright, nourishing, glory:

I love how the things that we most need to hear often come to us when we need them the most. The Orange is a reminder to breathe, to pace things slowly, to be present and stay in awe of the small wins. It is a reminder to love ourselves and be grateful for our own existence, however that is currently playing out. I could feel myself beaming as the poem unveiled itself. My smile extending as I realised that, despite the uncomfortable feelings I have been feeling, there is also more peace and contentment present too. And that’s definitely new for me.

The Orange feels like a long, deep, supportive hug from my best friend and was exactly what I needed after my discombobulating stint in the cold Cornish sea. I thought it might be comforting for you too.

Have a lovely, restful, and sunny Wednesday and I’ll be back next week with tales of surfing, failure and flow.

Much love, Lara xx